Who's the Real Me?
by TransformersMangaFangirl
Summary: (2019 revised) A one-shot from the point of view of Sari Sumdac, about being a Technorganic.


**I decided to do a little one-shot, exploiting the fact Sari be a technorganic. I have read many stories, but found no just focuses on the fact Sari is not a human and also not Cybertronian. I believe is not something so easily be** **a half-breed (I took some inspiration from the manga/anime Inu-yasha)** **.**

 **Transformers Animated does not belongs to me. If I did, Prowl would not died and I would have done another season, explaining what happened after they landed on Cybertron.**

 **2019: I decide to re-write this one-shot. I'm glad to see that my writing is better than a three years ago.**

* * *

My hands are warm and soft. My hair is soft and silky. In my chest, I feel palpitations like the beating of a heart. When I am sad or when I am very happy, tears flow through my eyes. That means I'm a human, right?

No.

I am stronger and tougher than any human. My senses are very sensitive. I can communicate with machines. I can live for thousands of years. I have strong armor and weapons that come when I want to. So, that means I'm Cybertronian, right?

Neither.

What I am? I'm Technorganic. Half human and half-Cybertronian. A mongrel. A hybrid. Those are the best words I can think to describe me.

In all the movies and books I've read showing mestizos, they act as if they have no traumas in being hybrids between two species. They act like "I'm a mix between two races! I have the best of these races and I don't have weaknesses! Life is great! YEY!"

Well, let me tell you something; when you're a half-breed, life is not great! It's sad!

I'm going to live for thousands of years, so when my father and all the people I know grow old and die, I'm still going to look like a teenager! For a millennia! Not to forget when some idiots (Cough! -Powerl! -Cough!)decide to take advantage of the fact that I'm not totally human to use it against me and my father.

And if anyone thinks my life will be better if I live with the Cybertronians, it is wrong; 90% of Transformers on Cybertron still fears organics. And it doesn't matter if I activate my armor, I'm still very different. I can maintain a civilized conversation with the minicons, since they have my size but... I'm not like them.

I belong to both races but at the same time, I don't belong to any of them. It hurts, I feel like I have two very comfortable houses to live in, but I cannot enter them.

Did Blackarachnia felt this way? This loneliness, this desire to relate to others but being unable to do so because of prejudice and fear? So I cannot blame her for joining the Decepticons.

Sometimes I wonder what would have happened to the whole city and me, if the Bots were not open and tolerant minds and instead were versions of the Sentinel Prime. Argh! Better not to imagine, it would be a nightmare!

Once I asked them, why they were not afraid of organic like the other Cybertronians;

Ratchet answered: "I'm old, girl. I've seen it all in this life. Besides, we spent 50 stellar cycles on this planet and nothing happened to our ship or to us. It would be stupid to feel fear at this point."

Bumblebee answered: "I had never met an organic race before, why should I be afraid?" (Bulkhead said the same thing to me).

Prowl answered: "I did not feel any danger coming from you. I decided to trust my instincts." he replied simply.

Finally, Optimus answered: "I confess that when I saw the humans, I felt a little fear, after all I had the displeasure of finding an organic race that was far from being meek. Of course, nowadays, I believe they only wanted to defend their nest. But I saw that you were in danger so I was able to swallow my fear. Later, when I met you, I found you so cute that I could not feel fear anymore." he confessed embarrassed. At least Optimus was sincere.

Sometimes I ask myself; "Who am I really? Human or Cybertronian?" And I wonder if one day I'll have an answer. And when I have my answer ... what will I do? Will I continue to be Sari Sumdac? Or... will I become something else?


End file.
